Lunch Surprise
by Pathetic Rainbow
Summary: Ryoutaro never expected this... He swears, he never expected this at all. // Crack fic. XD One shot. ;DD


"No! Don't come in the building—I'll come out and see you there. Oh shi-- for the love of all things holy, just wait a while so that-- "

"Ryou-chan!"

Ryoutaro threw his cell phone on the floor, stepped on it with a crunching sound, and then cursed incoherently.

"You forgot your lunch, honey! And I also packed some of my home-made chocolate-chip cookies that you love!" An old green-haired woman smilingly handed Ryoutaro a pink lunchbox. "Don't forget to be home early! I washed your tutu and leotards, too! Wouldn't want to miss ballet, now do we?" She winked at him and smiled. "Oh, Ryoutaro. Your aunt arrived this morning and said she couldn't wait to see how big you are!"

"Mother, please. Not in school." Ryoutaro said, running one hand through his spiky hair. With another scowl on his lips, he cursed the gods silently, wondering how on earth he deserved to be embarrassed or tortured in this way.

"So you're ashamed of your own mother, Ryoutaro?"

"Not at all, I just think that your timing is bad and-"

"Tsuchiura-kun?"

"Oh!" Ryoutaro's mother skipped Ryoutaro and went on behind him. "You are so pretty! I'm scared that Ryoutaro might be going gay because of his minimal interaction with women…" She gushed, holding the red-haired violinist's hands. "You don't mind dating little Ryoutaro here for me, now do you?"

Len, who was just beside Kahoko, scowled as he tightened his grip on Kahoko's and his violin cases.

"Eh?!" Kahoko jerked her hands away from the stranger's. "I'm already dating--" Ryoutaro's mother suddenly cut her, "Someone else? That's such a shame!"

Ryoutaro's mother furrowed her eyebrows and thought of something else. "Ah! What about you?" She looked at the blue-haired violinist with new-found excitement. "If Ryou-chan over here turns out to be gay, will you take him?"

Len nearly dropped the violin cases along with his jaw. "_Ryo-Ryou-chan?_" Len thought silently, stifling a chuckle. Kahoko looked up at the man beside her with mixed emotions, the majority with skepticism. "_Len-kun… and Tsuchiura-kun…_?" Kahoko mentally panicked as her cheeks reddened.

"I'm sorry, Tsuchiura-san!" She said loudly as she bowed. "Len-kun and I are already a couple!" She practically screamed as she tightly hugged Len's waist. Len, taking it as a _help-me-get-out-of-this-situation_ signal, sighed and looked at Ryoutaro's mother and... _Ryou-chan_.

Len just nodded his head slightly as he looked down at the mop of red hair near his waist. "Gomen ne. We'll be leaving now, Tsuchiura-san, _Ryou-chan_." He solidly stated as he guided Kahoko away from the 'blood-related green heads', as he would put it.

"It was nice meeting the two of you!" Ryoutaro's mother waved her right hand above her head while blowing air kisses with her other hand. "Take care!" She finally said.

"Don't those two look like a cute couple?" Ryoutaro's mother sighed. "They remind me so much of your father and me when we were also in college. Ah, those were the good times…" She reminisced, her eyes twinkling at the memory.

"Mother, can you just please--" Ryoutaro gritted his teeth in frustration. He had just been embarrassed in front of his two friends (Yes, Len is now his friend) and a whole lot of onlookers were gathering into groups near them, snickering while wondering why in the world Ryoutaro's mother would be doing in their school at this time.

"I'll be leaving now, Ryoutaro! Don't forget to eat your lunch, okay, honey?" She winked at him. "You have ballet at five, okay? I want you home by seven for dinner, too! I'll be making my delicious Pesto Cavatappi, the one that your aunt loves to eat so much. Make sure to invite your two friends later! Ja!" She walked away happily, not before she kissed Ryoutaro's right cheek.

When she disappeared from sight, Junosuke Sasaki, one of Ryoutaro's close friends from soccer, approached him and slapped his right shoulder. "Dude, your mom was so freakin-tastic!" He cracked up. "Who knew that you could do ballet, man?" Junosuke asked, cracking up once more. This time, the onlookers were laughing along with him.

Ryoutaro blushed, mortified because of how fast all the events happened. His mother went to his school, gave him a pink lunchbox, exploited the fact that he did ballet, and then asked Kaho _and_ Len to be his girlfriend/ boyfriend because she was unsure of his masculinity. His whole day has just been ruined-- no, his whole _life_ has just been ruined.

"Ah, I'd want to see more of your mom soon, _Ryou-chan_." Junosuke teased; Ryoutaro gave him a hard glare.

"...I hate you."

--

Crack? Lol whutt. This is quite short. Written in a span of fifteen minutes so, yeah. Added a few stuff at the end, too. This is based on a story from the TC archive. Hurrah~! I'm sure there are errors here and there… sorry about those. Point them out for me, will 'ya? Be a dear like good old Ryoutaro over there. XDD

Once again, this is because I need inspiration for TULTG. Lol. This story is set in Seiso University or some college. Yes, in this story, Len doesn't go to Vienna. \o/

Who wants more oneshots? Or crackfics or whatever? I'm all up for it. :DD

Review, please? I need feedback from the readers. ^__^


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